Merry Christmas!!!

I am so stinking sick of seeing this same old blog post so I am going to post a Merry Christmas to all of you. I am sad that I didn't get my Christmas cards made this year. It is something that I so enjoy doing but just ran out of energy after I finished dealing with other things. But I want everyone to know how much I love and appreciate each and every one of you for your friendship and love. It has been a very, very hard year for us and we couldn't have made it through without the help of so many of you. Thank You from the bottom of our hearts!! It is interesting that when times are the hardest that is when you realize how much Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love and take care of you. And you realize that they really do love us individually and want us, so much, to rely on them for everything. I am so thankful for this time of year. I love the sights, the smells and the feeling of love and hope in the air. I love the Christmas story and reflecting on the life of Christ and how he blesses our lives. I am so thankful for the Savior and for the love that he freely gives to me. I have felt his peace in times of hopelessness and despair. He has carried me and taken care of all of us. He has sent angels to our aid when we couldn't do it alone. Thanks again to you all. Merry Christmas!!!! Next year is going to be great!!

Seriously

I haven't done any new posts because my main computer is ill. Yep one of those things that I never thought would happen happened. Our computer has a nasty virus or some nasty ad ware or spy ware or whatever other words there are for it. So learn from us always keep your computer protection programs up to date!!!! The dang thing won't let me go to any websites without bringing up an error page. But the interesting thing is is that it will let me go to my bank page. Do they think I am stupid enough to type in my password? Dorks from Amsterdam!! (That is where it is generated from) They should use their talents to do good in the world. We just never updated our security so it was an old edition that didn't catch it and I think my kids may have inadvertently pushed some buttons they shouldn't have and turned some things off. My kids know that they push the x to turn things off but sometime the x actually does the opposite and I think that may be what happened. Cass was on the computer doing Playhouse Disney and when I went to make sure the computer was off it was freaking out and there was a bunch of pages on the screen. I don't know Lorin spent 3 hours trying to install a newer, but still outdated, program and it did install and catches the problem and stops it from running but it doesn't remove it so it still messes up the pages but it doesn't bring up all the bogus warnings. At first it was just bringing up fake warnings and a page wanting you to buy a virus protection program but it is totally fake. No matter what you did it would bring up the fake page. The more we tried to fix it the worse it got. So anyway I can't do anything on the Internet on my computer that I load pictures on. Hopefully we can get it fixed soon or maybe we should just zap the whole thing and start over I don't know. Seriously a pain in the neck and I feel computer violated. I will definitely be more careful especially when my kids are on the computer.

Happy Birthday Mom

Cassidy and Grandma on the Grotto Trail Hike. Family Reunion July 2009

Happy Birthday Mom!! Thanks for always being there for us and for your example of faith, hope and patience. We love you and hope you have a great day. We are so blessed to have you in our lives and couldn't ask for a greater Mom and Grandmother!!

It Only Takes Five Minutes

Cassidy and Logan were busy and content coloring at the kitchen table so I went downstairs to do some laundry. I was maybe down there five minutes when Cassidy comes down with her chin bleeding. I thought for sure she had fallen down but when asked what happened she says "I was shaving". What? Shaving? But you were coloring at the kitchen table not five minutes ago! I go upstairs and what do I find? Logan with his chin bleeding and a panicked look on his face. You would think a 7 and 4 (almost 5) year old could stay out of trouble that long. Not my kids. They had gotten Lorin's razors and thought they would try them out. What makes a child go from coloring to shaving in such a short time? It was Logan's idea and I never got a straight answer as to why. Cassidy did the best job actually taking of chunks of skin. Logan just has two straight lines across his chin. I don't think they will play with razors ever again.

Here they are trying to stop the bleeding. Cassidy's took forever to stop bleeding. So I finally just stuck bandaids on and sent them on their way.

Two Months Later......Longest Post Ever

Well here goes nothing. I decided just to do one big, huge, ginormous post going newest to oldest. To be honest with you I haven't felt like blogging but have decided that it is actually a great way to look for the happy and funny things in everyday life, things I would normally just forget about. I need to look for those happy things. There is just too much not so great things happening that it sometimes overshadows what joy can be found in the simple things. Each day we have is a blessing and what greater blessing do I have than my cute kids and handsome husband. When I am looking for things to blog about I am more quick to get the camera out and find those simple things. We are taking one day at a time around here. Even though times are tough we recognize the Lord's hand in our lives and know that he is taking care of us. Things will work out.

Schools out scream and shout!!

May 29, 2009

Cassidy is still going for 1 hour each day through June to help with her reading.

Cassidy, Janice (I was the mean aide at school) and Shelly (Cassidy's teacher)Shelly is such a great teacher and should seriously be named a saint for putting up with this 1st grade class. She took over this class thinking she would only be teaching for a few weeks but it ended up being the rest of the 6 months of school. All of them are very sweet kids some of them just have some serious problems and need some major parental dicipline. (I know look who knows so much. My kids are perfect angels=)).

Last day of school with this crazy bunch. To be honest it was a lot of fun to work with them each day.

Cassidy doing sidewalk chalk with her friends on the last day of school.

This is Janeal Cassidy's teacher for the first 3 months of school. She ended up having some serious health problems and has had to retire. Janeal was a huge support to me while Cassidy was in the hospital while she, herself, was facing her own struggles. She is such an amazing teacher and person. She has been a big advocate for Cassidy and got her the aide that she needed this school year. I wish every child could have a teacher like her in first grade. (I don't know why I took all these pictures with Cassidy in her ugly wheelchair. I guess it was always when Cassidy was ready to head out the door.)

Water bottle rocket day. All the kids had to read 15 books in 18 days to be able to attend the bottle rocket party. We did it! Cassidy made this rocket and it went really high and even got stuck in a tree at one point. The class had a blast!

First grade water gun fight. This was really fun for all the kids. It was hard to hold Cassidy's hand, to make sure she wouldn't get knocked over, while the kids shot water in my face. Cassidy had so much fun.

Cassidy with her friends at recess. All the kids are so sweet to her.

Cassidy at recess playing with a potato bug. The kids were facinated with these one day and found the potato bugs at all three recesses.

Cassidy and Leah doing a little skit. They practiced and make their own props in only 20 minutes. They were frogs if you couldn't tell. Cassidy did a great job. Even memorized most of her simple lines and didn't need much prompting.

May 22, 2009

First grade program. They sang songs from throughout the year and did a couple dances.

One more picture of Cassidy at recess. Her friends liked to pretend they were cats and dogs and follow Cassidy around. I took a lot of pictures of recess mostly because I was there but also because I am so grateful. While Cassidy was so sick in the hospital I didn't think she would make it or at least not be at all the same when she got out. Cassidy's previous aide and my good friend, Andrea, sent me a text message on a particularly hard day. She told me she had a dream and in that dream she saw Cassidy with me out at recess. Cassidy was laughing and running. That dream has come true and I am so thankful for that little bit of hope and faith that that text message gave me that day.

Megan chose Millard County to do her 4th grade County project on.

We found there is a lot of really cool places to visit in Millard County. Places even Lorin didn't know about. If we could scrounge some money up it would be fun to do a "stay-vay" in Millard county.

Megan in the 4th grade program.

They sang about things they learned about Utah.

We are so proud of Megan! She is beautiful, smart and a good friend to everyone.

Logan loves his Dad and wants nothing more than to be like his Dad.

Here he is in Lorin's softball shirt and cleats.

Logan even says when he grows up he is going to cut wood and build houses. At least he does mention a mission and college as other things he is going to do.

Yes that is a gallon of hair gel in Logan's hair. While I am busy he usually finds something interesting to entertain himself with. At this particular time I was fixing dinner.

Megan is always coming up with something creative that she builds with paper and tape and did I mention tape. (We go through a lot of tape around here.)

This is a guitar made out of a shoe box. My kids think they are rock stars.

On April 18th Lorin and I attended a memorial service at the site where Lorin's brother Keith lost his life in a plane crash. The thought of going there was hard but actually being there was very peaceful and comforting. The spirit was there and the service was very nice. It was so great that all of Keith's siblings and his wife Lisa were there. We miss Keith a lot. I know Lorin really misses him and sometimes comments about who is going to help us plant our garden or prune our trees. Poor Keith was always very kind to help Lorin with projects when he visited. But seriously mostly we miss being able to talk and laugh with him.

If there is a baby around you will find Cassidy. At my family's easter party Cassidy just had so much fun playing with Chandler.

I have the best sisters in the world!!!

Trying to get all the grandkids together for a photo is sometimes a chore especially when they would rather be eating their Easter treats.

Megan helped hide the eggs this year. She is growing up too fast.

Cassidy and her stash.

Logan is just Logan. He keeps us laughing. What would we do without him?

Anticipation of good things to eat!

This is Logan's idea of playing with play dough. I hate play dough.

Back to School

Today was Cassidy's big day going back to school as well as my big day starting a new job being Cassidy's 504 Aide. All in all the day went well. She made it through 4 hours. All the excitment wore her out I think. It will take some time for her to get her mind used to staying focused and working on remembering everything. I think she will do great.

All the kids were so excited to see Cassidy. The minute we walked into the room they all swarmed and wanted to give her high 5's. It was so sweet. Even the principal came in to welcome her back.It was a joyful day for us. Hopefully Cassidy will want to go back tomorrow.

Hello Spring

So where the heck did Spring go? Oh yeah we live in Utah. Welcome yet again to Winter. I guess there has to be opposition in all things. Cannot wait for the nice 70 degree weather to return.

And thanks to my good friend Colette for inviting me to do this fun project. It helped me feel a little bit more like myself again. Projects are great stress relievers even if they take me 3 weeks to complete.

Good To Be Home

I cannot tell you how good it feels to be home. Cassidy came home Feb. 19th. The time has gone so fast I guess because I feel so busy all the time. We have gone to a lot of Dr. appointments as well as to therapy and for blood tests. There is a lot of meds. to keep track of as well as keeping up with Cassidy. Being home is the best therapy she could have. She wants to do it all and that makes us so happy.
The gratitude we feel in our hearts to have our Cassidy home is indescribable. With all the ups and downs we experienced it was sometimes so hard to feel hope or even dare hope. Especially when you have seen devastating outcomes. We are so blessed and it is once again a miracle that Cassidy is doing so well. She is getting close to walking unassisted. She walks around holding on to furniture and walls. We are especially blessed that she seems to have not lost much cognitively. Her processing time is a little more delayed but she is still Cassidy. She still has her beautiful smile and giggle that we cannot live without. We are slowly decreasing 2 of her seizure meds. which is a little scary but we have done it before and she will feel better not being on so many.
Thanks everyone for your faith, prayers and fasting for Cassidy and all of us. That is what kept us going is the thought that there were so many praying for her. So many times I just thought that I needed to have the faith of a child and would think of all the children praying earnestly for Cassidy to get well. Their prayers were answered. I know of people who normally cannot fast who fasted for Cassidy to show extra faith for her. Children from school prayed with their families for Cassidy. To think of it overwhelms me. Thank you!
It has been a hard road and so difficult to see Cassidy have to go through all that she has. I received a blessing the 2nd day she was there not knowing how long we would be there. I am horrible at remember things that are said but two things I do remember and they helped me so much. I was told that Heavenly Father knows of our plight and that he knows how much joy Cassidy brings to our family. At the little church service they have at the hospital I was also struck by the story of the man pleading with Lord to heal his son and he said he believed and asked the the Lord help his unbelief. I too have asked the Lord to help my unbelief. It is so easy to let discouragement and doubt creep in to destroy your faith.
I have to thanks my Parents for taking such good care of Megan and Logan. Which is not an easy task. Thank you for letting me cry on the phone while giving me words of encouragement. Laura as well thank you for watching them and for being a listening ear as you know all to well the heartache. Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts, deeds and visits. So many of you have cried along with us thank you for listening and lending your shoulders. Thank you for chocolate to help me keep my sanity. On one particularly hard day. I was talking with the ICU Dr. about how Cassidy seemed so uncomfortable and agitated. And he said that she, being on Versed, would not remember anything. So I commented on how it must be hurting me more than her and he said "sorry I can't prescribe anything for you" That made me laugh and I told him that I was good because I had plenty of chocolate.
I cannot thank everyone enough!

Here is our Cassidy at 10 months old with a feeding tube. This is when her health problems began. She is still a mystery case. All the many tests that have been done have come back normal. Notice the smile.


Here is our Cassidy now. This picture was taken right before we left the hospital. She was so excited to be going home. She still has the feeding tube in but she is meeting her fluid goal each day so I will probably remove it this weekend and only put it back in if we absolutely need to.


I hate even posting this picture because it breaks my heart but she is trying to smile. Cassidy is such an example to us. She never complains about her disabilities and has never asked why. Where on the other hand I have. My Mom and Lorin have on many occasions reminded me that Cassidy knew she would have the problems she has before she came to earth. She has always been thrilled to be here and has never let anything get her down. We just have to support her all we can as she fulfills her mission on earth. Though it is hard she is doing what she was asked to do. We are blessed to be her parents.


The infamous wand. Cassidy won every one's hearts as she either turned you into a prince or princess or a frog. This was taken her last day in ICU. She was all smiles.


One of Cassidy's favorite things to do in rehab was ride this tricycle. She loved it and was able to do it amazingly well. This was the day she came home.

Cassidy also really loved swinging on this therapy swing. Rick Regal would build block towers and she would knock them down as she swung.
This is Rick Regal. He just works in rehab as kind of an errand boy. Cassidy loved to call him on every one's Vocera. (Vocera are little pagers the hospital employees wear that they call each other on). He built great towers for Cassidy and was kind to talk to her when she would call.

This is Melanie the speech therapist. Cassidy actually really hated speech but Melanie was a lot of fun to work with and helped Cassidy a lot.

This is Lisa the Physical Therapist. She is my favorite. She was so great with Cassidy and always so positive and kind.

So what is Cassidy up to now? Well as you can see she is balancing really quite well. This is her watching the end of "Freaky Friday" She Loves to sing the song and act like she is playing the guitar. It is so cute. She has even ventured out to the trampoline and played outside in the nice weather. We are so proud of her!

Cassidy gets tutored twice a week by her resource teacher. We are debating on when to have her go back to school. Maybe Monday. Here are a few more pictures of our life.

Logan has been well....Logan. Here is a picture of him with barrettes clipped to his ears. And cereal in his teeth. He is often in his p.j.s until noon. Unfortunately I am sometimes still in mine too. He is always silly. And wants to know who is the boss of everything. This whole ordeal has made him somewhat insecure but it's getting better. He and Cassidy are back to playing and fighting which goes hand in hand.

I knew there was a reason we had a king size bed. I took this the other night when Lorin was gone for the weekend. All the kids wanted to sleep by me. I let them all fall asleep then took Logan to his bed. I was so happy to have all my babies with me once again. Our house was too lonely for too long.

So what has Megan been up too? Planning parties with friends and coloring Logan's face. She was doing makeovers in her room and this is how he came out. What an improvement. Kind of made me laugh actually.

Well it has really been nice to blog again even though it has taken me about 3 hours to get this post done between Cassidy needing me and Logan needing me. But I am glad to be feeling a little back to myself. My house is a mess but that means things are normal. I still kind of feel like I have woke up from a bad dream and my heart is still beating way to fast. Each day I have some anxiety for what is next but know I need to enjoy each moment and not worry quite so much. Cassidy is doing well. I want to share a song the music therapist wrote before her son was going for major brain surgery.

Give Me Strength by Lillieth Grand

They say God won't give you more than you can handle.

Why does he think so much of me?

I feel like Job, but I know

I can stand on what I believe

Chorus:

God give me strength, grant me peace.

Help me to see the blessings too.

God give me strength, grant me peace.

Help me be the woman I should be.

I feel like a jugler with all her balls in the air

and I don't know which one's up or down.

I give it all to God 'cause I know

he'll help me sort it out somehow.

People say, "I don't understand how well you're taking it all'

I think, "why, oh why can't they see"

my heart's in turmoil and I feel so alone,

then I remember God's promise to me.

Chorus

Bridge:

People say, "hold on, keep on"

People say, "move on, walk on"

and I fall to my knees.......

Chorus 2x

I could be

I will be