Good To Be Home

I cannot tell you how good it feels to be home. Cassidy came home Feb. 19th. The time has gone so fast I guess because I feel so busy all the time. We have gone to a lot of Dr. appointments as well as to therapy and for blood tests. There is a lot of meds. to keep track of as well as keeping up with Cassidy. Being home is the best therapy she could have. She wants to do it all and that makes us so happy.
The gratitude we feel in our hearts to have our Cassidy home is indescribable. With all the ups and downs we experienced it was sometimes so hard to feel hope or even dare hope. Especially when you have seen devastating outcomes. We are so blessed and it is once again a miracle that Cassidy is doing so well. She is getting close to walking unassisted. She walks around holding on to furniture and walls. We are especially blessed that she seems to have not lost much cognitively. Her processing time is a little more delayed but she is still Cassidy. She still has her beautiful smile and giggle that we cannot live without. We are slowly decreasing 2 of her seizure meds. which is a little scary but we have done it before and she will feel better not being on so many.
Thanks everyone for your faith, prayers and fasting for Cassidy and all of us. That is what kept us going is the thought that there were so many praying for her. So many times I just thought that I needed to have the faith of a child and would think of all the children praying earnestly for Cassidy to get well. Their prayers were answered. I know of people who normally cannot fast who fasted for Cassidy to show extra faith for her. Children from school prayed with their families for Cassidy. To think of it overwhelms me. Thank you!
It has been a hard road and so difficult to see Cassidy have to go through all that she has. I received a blessing the 2nd day she was there not knowing how long we would be there. I am horrible at remember things that are said but two things I do remember and they helped me so much. I was told that Heavenly Father knows of our plight and that he knows how much joy Cassidy brings to our family. At the little church service they have at the hospital I was also struck by the story of the man pleading with Lord to heal his son and he said he believed and asked the the Lord help his unbelief. I too have asked the Lord to help my unbelief. It is so easy to let discouragement and doubt creep in to destroy your faith.
I have to thanks my Parents for taking such good care of Megan and Logan. Which is not an easy task. Thank you for letting me cry on the phone while giving me words of encouragement. Laura as well thank you for watching them and for being a listening ear as you know all to well the heartache. Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts, deeds and visits. So many of you have cried along with us thank you for listening and lending your shoulders. Thank you for chocolate to help me keep my sanity. On one particularly hard day. I was talking with the ICU Dr. about how Cassidy seemed so uncomfortable and agitated. And he said that she, being on Versed, would not remember anything. So I commented on how it must be hurting me more than her and he said "sorry I can't prescribe anything for you" That made me laugh and I told him that I was good because I had plenty of chocolate.
I cannot thank everyone enough!

Here is our Cassidy at 10 months old with a feeding tube. This is when her health problems began. She is still a mystery case. All the many tests that have been done have come back normal. Notice the smile.


Here is our Cassidy now. This picture was taken right before we left the hospital. She was so excited to be going home. She still has the feeding tube in but she is meeting her fluid goal each day so I will probably remove it this weekend and only put it back in if we absolutely need to.


I hate even posting this picture because it breaks my heart but she is trying to smile. Cassidy is such an example to us. She never complains about her disabilities and has never asked why. Where on the other hand I have. My Mom and Lorin have on many occasions reminded me that Cassidy knew she would have the problems she has before she came to earth. She has always been thrilled to be here and has never let anything get her down. We just have to support her all we can as she fulfills her mission on earth. Though it is hard she is doing what she was asked to do. We are blessed to be her parents.


The infamous wand. Cassidy won every one's hearts as she either turned you into a prince or princess or a frog. This was taken her last day in ICU. She was all smiles.


One of Cassidy's favorite things to do in rehab was ride this tricycle. She loved it and was able to do it amazingly well. This was the day she came home.

Cassidy also really loved swinging on this therapy swing. Rick Regal would build block towers and she would knock them down as she swung.
This is Rick Regal. He just works in rehab as kind of an errand boy. Cassidy loved to call him on every one's Vocera. (Vocera are little pagers the hospital employees wear that they call each other on). He built great towers for Cassidy and was kind to talk to her when she would call.

This is Melanie the speech therapist. Cassidy actually really hated speech but Melanie was a lot of fun to work with and helped Cassidy a lot.

This is Lisa the Physical Therapist. She is my favorite. She was so great with Cassidy and always so positive and kind.

So what is Cassidy up to now? Well as you can see she is balancing really quite well. This is her watching the end of "Freaky Friday" She Loves to sing the song and act like she is playing the guitar. It is so cute. She has even ventured out to the trampoline and played outside in the nice weather. We are so proud of her!

Cassidy gets tutored twice a week by her resource teacher. We are debating on when to have her go back to school. Maybe Monday. Here are a few more pictures of our life.

Logan has been well....Logan. Here is a picture of him with barrettes clipped to his ears. And cereal in his teeth. He is often in his p.j.s until noon. Unfortunately I am sometimes still in mine too. He is always silly. And wants to know who is the boss of everything. This whole ordeal has made him somewhat insecure but it's getting better. He and Cassidy are back to playing and fighting which goes hand in hand.

I knew there was a reason we had a king size bed. I took this the other night when Lorin was gone for the weekend. All the kids wanted to sleep by me. I let them all fall asleep then took Logan to his bed. I was so happy to have all my babies with me once again. Our house was too lonely for too long.

So what has Megan been up too? Planning parties with friends and coloring Logan's face. She was doing makeovers in her room and this is how he came out. What an improvement. Kind of made me laugh actually.

Well it has really been nice to blog again even though it has taken me about 3 hours to get this post done between Cassidy needing me and Logan needing me. But I am glad to be feeling a little back to myself. My house is a mess but that means things are normal. I still kind of feel like I have woke up from a bad dream and my heart is still beating way to fast. Each day I have some anxiety for what is next but know I need to enjoy each moment and not worry quite so much. Cassidy is doing well. I want to share a song the music therapist wrote before her son was going for major brain surgery.

Give Me Strength by Lillieth Grand

They say God won't give you more than you can handle.

Why does he think so much of me?

I feel like Job, but I know

I can stand on what I believe

Chorus:

God give me strength, grant me peace.

Help me to see the blessings too.

God give me strength, grant me peace.

Help me be the woman I should be.

I feel like a jugler with all her balls in the air

and I don't know which one's up or down.

I give it all to God 'cause I know

he'll help me sort it out somehow.

People say, "I don't understand how well you're taking it all'

I think, "why, oh why can't they see"

my heart's in turmoil and I feel so alone,

then I remember God's promise to me.

Chorus

Bridge:

People say, "hold on, keep on"

People say, "move on, walk on"

and I fall to my knees.......

Chorus 2x

I could be

I will be