Two Months Later......Longest Post Ever

Well here goes nothing. I decided just to do one big, huge, ginormous post going newest to oldest. To be honest with you I haven't felt like blogging but have decided that it is actually a great way to look for the happy and funny things in everyday life, things I would normally just forget about. I need to look for those happy things. There is just too much not so great things happening that it sometimes overshadows what joy can be found in the simple things. Each day we have is a blessing and what greater blessing do I have than my cute kids and handsome husband. When I am looking for things to blog about I am more quick to get the camera out and find those simple things. We are taking one day at a time around here. Even though times are tough we recognize the Lord's hand in our lives and know that he is taking care of us. Things will work out.

Schools out scream and shout!!

May 29, 2009

Cassidy is still going for 1 hour each day through June to help with her reading.

Cassidy, Janice (I was the mean aide at school) and Shelly (Cassidy's teacher)Shelly is such a great teacher and should seriously be named a saint for putting up with this 1st grade class. She took over this class thinking she would only be teaching for a few weeks but it ended up being the rest of the 6 months of school. All of them are very sweet kids some of them just have some serious problems and need some major parental dicipline. (I know look who knows so much. My kids are perfect angels=)).

Last day of school with this crazy bunch. To be honest it was a lot of fun to work with them each day.

Cassidy doing sidewalk chalk with her friends on the last day of school.

This is Janeal Cassidy's teacher for the first 3 months of school. She ended up having some serious health problems and has had to retire. Janeal was a huge support to me while Cassidy was in the hospital while she, herself, was facing her own struggles. She is such an amazing teacher and person. She has been a big advocate for Cassidy and got her the aide that she needed this school year. I wish every child could have a teacher like her in first grade. (I don't know why I took all these pictures with Cassidy in her ugly wheelchair. I guess it was always when Cassidy was ready to head out the door.)

Water bottle rocket day. All the kids had to read 15 books in 18 days to be able to attend the bottle rocket party. We did it! Cassidy made this rocket and it went really high and even got stuck in a tree at one point. The class had a blast!

First grade water gun fight. This was really fun for all the kids. It was hard to hold Cassidy's hand, to make sure she wouldn't get knocked over, while the kids shot water in my face. Cassidy had so much fun.

Cassidy with her friends at recess. All the kids are so sweet to her.

Cassidy at recess playing with a potato bug. The kids were facinated with these one day and found the potato bugs at all three recesses.

Cassidy and Leah doing a little skit. They practiced and make their own props in only 20 minutes. They were frogs if you couldn't tell. Cassidy did a great job. Even memorized most of her simple lines and didn't need much prompting.

May 22, 2009

First grade program. They sang songs from throughout the year and did a couple dances.

One more picture of Cassidy at recess. Her friends liked to pretend they were cats and dogs and follow Cassidy around. I took a lot of pictures of recess mostly because I was there but also because I am so grateful. While Cassidy was so sick in the hospital I didn't think she would make it or at least not be at all the same when she got out. Cassidy's previous aide and my good friend, Andrea, sent me a text message on a particularly hard day. She told me she had a dream and in that dream she saw Cassidy with me out at recess. Cassidy was laughing and running. That dream has come true and I am so thankful for that little bit of hope and faith that that text message gave me that day.

Megan chose Millard County to do her 4th grade County project on.

We found there is a lot of really cool places to visit in Millard County. Places even Lorin didn't know about. If we could scrounge some money up it would be fun to do a "stay-vay" in Millard county.

Megan in the 4th grade program.

They sang about things they learned about Utah.

We are so proud of Megan! She is beautiful, smart and a good friend to everyone.

Logan loves his Dad and wants nothing more than to be like his Dad.

Here he is in Lorin's softball shirt and cleats.

Logan even says when he grows up he is going to cut wood and build houses. At least he does mention a mission and college as other things he is going to do.

Yes that is a gallon of hair gel in Logan's hair. While I am busy he usually finds something interesting to entertain himself with. At this particular time I was fixing dinner.

Megan is always coming up with something creative that she builds with paper and tape and did I mention tape. (We go through a lot of tape around here.)

This is a guitar made out of a shoe box. My kids think they are rock stars.

On April 18th Lorin and I attended a memorial service at the site where Lorin's brother Keith lost his life in a plane crash. The thought of going there was hard but actually being there was very peaceful and comforting. The spirit was there and the service was very nice. It was so great that all of Keith's siblings and his wife Lisa were there. We miss Keith a lot. I know Lorin really misses him and sometimes comments about who is going to help us plant our garden or prune our trees. Poor Keith was always very kind to help Lorin with projects when he visited. But seriously mostly we miss being able to talk and laugh with him.

If there is a baby around you will find Cassidy. At my family's easter party Cassidy just had so much fun playing with Chandler.

I have the best sisters in the world!!!

Trying to get all the grandkids together for a photo is sometimes a chore especially when they would rather be eating their Easter treats.

Megan helped hide the eggs this year. She is growing up too fast.

Cassidy and her stash.

Logan is just Logan. He keeps us laughing. What would we do without him?

Anticipation of good things to eat!

This is Logan's idea of playing with play dough. I hate play dough.

Back to School

Today was Cassidy's big day going back to school as well as my big day starting a new job being Cassidy's 504 Aide. All in all the day went well. She made it through 4 hours. All the excitment wore her out I think. It will take some time for her to get her mind used to staying focused and working on remembering everything. I think she will do great.

All the kids were so excited to see Cassidy. The minute we walked into the room they all swarmed and wanted to give her high 5's. It was so sweet. Even the principal came in to welcome her back.It was a joyful day for us. Hopefully Cassidy will want to go back tomorrow.

Hello Spring

So where the heck did Spring go? Oh yeah we live in Utah. Welcome yet again to Winter. I guess there has to be opposition in all things. Cannot wait for the nice 70 degree weather to return.

And thanks to my good friend Colette for inviting me to do this fun project. It helped me feel a little bit more like myself again. Projects are great stress relievers even if they take me 3 weeks to complete.

Good To Be Home

I cannot tell you how good it feels to be home. Cassidy came home Feb. 19th. The time has gone so fast I guess because I feel so busy all the time. We have gone to a lot of Dr. appointments as well as to therapy and for blood tests. There is a lot of meds. to keep track of as well as keeping up with Cassidy. Being home is the best therapy she could have. She wants to do it all and that makes us so happy.
The gratitude we feel in our hearts to have our Cassidy home is indescribable. With all the ups and downs we experienced it was sometimes so hard to feel hope or even dare hope. Especially when you have seen devastating outcomes. We are so blessed and it is once again a miracle that Cassidy is doing so well. She is getting close to walking unassisted. She walks around holding on to furniture and walls. We are especially blessed that she seems to have not lost much cognitively. Her processing time is a little more delayed but she is still Cassidy. She still has her beautiful smile and giggle that we cannot live without. We are slowly decreasing 2 of her seizure meds. which is a little scary but we have done it before and she will feel better not being on so many.
Thanks everyone for your faith, prayers and fasting for Cassidy and all of us. That is what kept us going is the thought that there were so many praying for her. So many times I just thought that I needed to have the faith of a child and would think of all the children praying earnestly for Cassidy to get well. Their prayers were answered. I know of people who normally cannot fast who fasted for Cassidy to show extra faith for her. Children from school prayed with their families for Cassidy. To think of it overwhelms me. Thank you!
It has been a hard road and so difficult to see Cassidy have to go through all that she has. I received a blessing the 2nd day she was there not knowing how long we would be there. I am horrible at remember things that are said but two things I do remember and they helped me so much. I was told that Heavenly Father knows of our plight and that he knows how much joy Cassidy brings to our family. At the little church service they have at the hospital I was also struck by the story of the man pleading with Lord to heal his son and he said he believed and asked the the Lord help his unbelief. I too have asked the Lord to help my unbelief. It is so easy to let discouragement and doubt creep in to destroy your faith.
I have to thanks my Parents for taking such good care of Megan and Logan. Which is not an easy task. Thank you for letting me cry on the phone while giving me words of encouragement. Laura as well thank you for watching them and for being a listening ear as you know all to well the heartache. Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts, deeds and visits. So many of you have cried along with us thank you for listening and lending your shoulders. Thank you for chocolate to help me keep my sanity. On one particularly hard day. I was talking with the ICU Dr. about how Cassidy seemed so uncomfortable and agitated. And he said that she, being on Versed, would not remember anything. So I commented on how it must be hurting me more than her and he said "sorry I can't prescribe anything for you" That made me laugh and I told him that I was good because I had plenty of chocolate.
I cannot thank everyone enough!

Here is our Cassidy at 10 months old with a feeding tube. This is when her health problems began. She is still a mystery case. All the many tests that have been done have come back normal. Notice the smile.


Here is our Cassidy now. This picture was taken right before we left the hospital. She was so excited to be going home. She still has the feeding tube in but she is meeting her fluid goal each day so I will probably remove it this weekend and only put it back in if we absolutely need to.


I hate even posting this picture because it breaks my heart but she is trying to smile. Cassidy is such an example to us. She never complains about her disabilities and has never asked why. Where on the other hand I have. My Mom and Lorin have on many occasions reminded me that Cassidy knew she would have the problems she has before she came to earth. She has always been thrilled to be here and has never let anything get her down. We just have to support her all we can as she fulfills her mission on earth. Though it is hard she is doing what she was asked to do. We are blessed to be her parents.


The infamous wand. Cassidy won every one's hearts as she either turned you into a prince or princess or a frog. This was taken her last day in ICU. She was all smiles.


One of Cassidy's favorite things to do in rehab was ride this tricycle. She loved it and was able to do it amazingly well. This was the day she came home.

Cassidy also really loved swinging on this therapy swing. Rick Regal would build block towers and she would knock them down as she swung.
This is Rick Regal. He just works in rehab as kind of an errand boy. Cassidy loved to call him on every one's Vocera. (Vocera are little pagers the hospital employees wear that they call each other on). He built great towers for Cassidy and was kind to talk to her when she would call.

This is Melanie the speech therapist. Cassidy actually really hated speech but Melanie was a lot of fun to work with and helped Cassidy a lot.

This is Lisa the Physical Therapist. She is my favorite. She was so great with Cassidy and always so positive and kind.

So what is Cassidy up to now? Well as you can see she is balancing really quite well. This is her watching the end of "Freaky Friday" She Loves to sing the song and act like she is playing the guitar. It is so cute. She has even ventured out to the trampoline and played outside in the nice weather. We are so proud of her!

Cassidy gets tutored twice a week by her resource teacher. We are debating on when to have her go back to school. Maybe Monday. Here are a few more pictures of our life.

Logan has been well....Logan. Here is a picture of him with barrettes clipped to his ears. And cereal in his teeth. He is often in his p.j.s until noon. Unfortunately I am sometimes still in mine too. He is always silly. And wants to know who is the boss of everything. This whole ordeal has made him somewhat insecure but it's getting better. He and Cassidy are back to playing and fighting which goes hand in hand.

I knew there was a reason we had a king size bed. I took this the other night when Lorin was gone for the weekend. All the kids wanted to sleep by me. I let them all fall asleep then took Logan to his bed. I was so happy to have all my babies with me once again. Our house was too lonely for too long.

So what has Megan been up too? Planning parties with friends and coloring Logan's face. She was doing makeovers in her room and this is how he came out. What an improvement. Kind of made me laugh actually.

Well it has really been nice to blog again even though it has taken me about 3 hours to get this post done between Cassidy needing me and Logan needing me. But I am glad to be feeling a little back to myself. My house is a mess but that means things are normal. I still kind of feel like I have woke up from a bad dream and my heart is still beating way to fast. Each day I have some anxiety for what is next but know I need to enjoy each moment and not worry quite so much. Cassidy is doing well. I want to share a song the music therapist wrote before her son was going for major brain surgery.

Give Me Strength by Lillieth Grand

They say God won't give you more than you can handle.

Why does he think so much of me?

I feel like Job, but I know

I can stand on what I believe

Chorus:

God give me strength, grant me peace.

Help me to see the blessings too.

God give me strength, grant me peace.

Help me be the woman I should be.

I feel like a jugler with all her balls in the air

and I don't know which one's up or down.

I give it all to God 'cause I know

he'll help me sort it out somehow.

People say, "I don't understand how well you're taking it all'

I think, "why, oh why can't they see"

my heart's in turmoil and I feel so alone,

then I remember God's promise to me.

Chorus

Bridge:

People say, "hold on, keep on"

People say, "move on, walk on"

and I fall to my knees.......

Chorus 2x

I could be

I will be

Gingerbread Houses

On Saturday my family got together and did gingerbread houses. We do it every year after Thanksgiving. It is a little chaotic but a lot of fun. In past years my houses have caved in on me and been a total frustration but this year I was patient and let the frosting set for a while before putting the candy on. Last year I blame on defective frosting. This year was finally a success!

I think the kids enjoy eating the candy more than anything. I think maybe next year I will just make gingerbread people and they can decorate them and eat. Needless to say our house is now lacking all the candy. At one point it looked pretty cute. But I guess eating it is what it is all about.


The finished village or as my sister said gingerbread "track housing". That made me laugh.

Here is all the grandkids minus Marci's. If you look closely at the roof you will see an elf who happened to be peeking in on the kids. He has visited in the past. I think most of the kids have been good this year and will get a visit from Santa.

O Christmas Tree

Last Friday night we ventured out to pick a Christmas tree. I sometimes miss the good ol' days of hiking around Kanosh looking for a Christmas tree to cut down. Maybe someday I will tell the story of the great Christmas tree hunt of '96 when Lorin and I were engaged. Let's just say that venturing out to the Fred Parker Christmas tree lot is a lot more convenient and safe. Hiking to Cove Fort in 2 ft. of snow is not fun.

Lorin has the great honor, yes honor, of getting our tree home and cutting what needs cut and sticking the tree in the stand. Sometimes he will even put the star on. This year our star broke so we are lacking a star.
Here we are in front of the tree we picked. We have to choose one that that is somewhat skinny but we found the perfect one that was more full at the top than some years. The tree was $37 dollars. We had exactly $32 dollars. The man was kind enough to give it to us anyway. I considered it a blessing. These days small blessings are huge to me!

I have the wonderful job of putting the lights on the tree and I have to admit I do a pretty good job. It was a Christmas miracle when I just needed one more string of lights. I had three strings left which would only light half the way. I thought for sure I was going to have to make some adjustments or buy more lights which I couldn't do. So I grabbed one of the strings and the first bulb I wiggled seemed to be the one causing the problem. So I replaced that bulb and finished putting up the lights. I know kinda corny but I was thankful. The kids got to put up the ornaments. We only broke two this year.